"Reaping the Harvest of our Self-Disgust"
Another two articles mentioning self-harm in the paper today (and thus another blog entry moaning about it). At least neither of them were going on about statistics, which, come to think of it, I have another argument about: what is it with the statistics that they are hoping to achieve? If finally they are satisfied they have done enough research and have a very certain number can they then judge and say it is a big enough problem for them to do something about, or will it possibly be that the number could be considered small enough that it isn't worth worrying about? When finally one day they establish whether it is true or not that more girls self-harm than boys will that mean that what boys do can't be called self-harm?
Oh but thats not what I was writing. Today's two articles brought up self-harm in other familiar ways. One was a personal account opening with the line "I first cut myself when I was 16", which to be honest has been the opening line of my own autobiography for the past six years (I've decided against writing it for the time being). The other article included self-harm in a list of symptoms indicative of some generalised malaise underlying our capitalist society - a theory I agree with to some extent, especially when you expand the definition of self-harm from our considered view of self-injury to include the excessive drinking and drug misuse of large numbers of both young and older people.
Maybe its just because I read the same paper every day that explains why I keep reading the same kinds of things. Please let me know if you have read something that truly is different, that doesn't rely on shock value and doesn't generalise it in a way that frankly makes me feel worse - if I self-harm because of the way society is then what hope is there for me?
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Freshers Event at West Suffolk College
I attended the freshers event at this college today, set up a stall featuring LifeSIGNS leaflets, posters and copies of some old newsletters. We received a fair bit of attention, however I have the feeling that was more down to the bright orange wristbands than the subject matter! This was the first event of its type that we have participated in and I think the experience has taught me a few things, the first being that if we really want to attract any attention from students, be they the 16-19 group I saw today or university level, we have to give stuff away for free! I found myself spending half the day making Flapping Origami Birds with a hand-endorsed LifeSIGNS - SI Awareness message just to compete with the lollipops, pens and fresh fruit on sticks from stalls further down the corridor.
I know that our presence there reached a good few people. There was one girl I noticed sidling up to the stall and seeming to memorize the website address rather than take a leaflet. Another had read the front of the leaflet then murmured "I've done that" in a surprised way, then dashed off, reminding me of the first time I realised that other people were doing what I did. One group hung around my table for ages, reading the newsletters and chatting and slowly it emerged that one of them self-harmed but it appeared to be the first time she had mentioned it to those around her. She later brought another friend back to pick up a leaflet and wristband.
On the other side of things I had a couple of people make comments that it was something they did oh three years ago and gave it up because its stupid. I did well to maintain my aura of serenity I think ;)
If we do another event like this in the future - and I think its a good way to raise awareness both of SI and LifeSIGNS itself - I think we need more fun free stuff, whether that is postcards, bumperstickers, mugs or magnets, maybe LifeSIGNS endorsed plasters or antiseptic cream? Perhaps not the last two! There wasn't as much uptake of the leaflets as we would want, but students probably aren't up for picking up info heavy leaflets at a freshers fayre.
It was a nice enough day though and there are at least 35 more people wandering around in Suffolk day wearing bright orange wristbands today!
I attended the freshers event at this college today, set up a stall featuring LifeSIGNS leaflets, posters and copies of some old newsletters. We received a fair bit of attention, however I have the feeling that was more down to the bright orange wristbands than the subject matter! This was the first event of its type that we have participated in and I think the experience has taught me a few things, the first being that if we really want to attract any attention from students, be they the 16-19 group I saw today or university level, we have to give stuff away for free! I found myself spending half the day making Flapping Origami Birds with a hand-endorsed LifeSIGNS - SI Awareness message just to compete with the lollipops, pens and fresh fruit on sticks from stalls further down the corridor.I know that our presence there reached a good few people. There was one girl I noticed sidling up to the stall and seeming to memorize the website address rather than take a leaflet. Another had read the front of the leaflet then murmured "I've done that" in a surprised way, then dashed off, reminding me of the first time I realised that other people were doing what I did. One group hung around my table for ages, reading the newsletters and chatting and slowly it emerged that one of them self-harmed but it appeared to be the first time she had mentioned it to those around her. She later brought another friend back to pick up a leaflet and wristband.
On the other side of things I had a couple of people make comments that it was something they did oh three years ago and gave it up because its stupid. I did well to maintain my aura of serenity I think ;)
If we do another event like this in the future - and I think its a good way to raise awareness both of SI and LifeSIGNS itself - I think we need more fun free stuff, whether that is postcards, bumperstickers, mugs or magnets, maybe LifeSIGNS endorsed plasters or antiseptic cream? Perhaps not the last two! There wasn't as much uptake of the leaflets as we would want, but students probably aren't up for picking up info heavy leaflets at a freshers fayre.
It was a nice enough day though and there are at least 35 more people wandering around in Suffolk day wearing bright orange wristbands today!
Monday, September 25, 2006
OneWebDay
Today is the first(?) OneWebDay, a celebration to promote the social side of the web!
LifeSIGNS is indebted to the people and companies that have transformed the Internet by creating the World Wide Web. So much of our work is web-based, and so many of our members are reliant on the web to give them a voice.
www.onewebday.org/
Back to LifeSIGNS
Today is the first(?) OneWebDay, a celebration to promote the social side of the web!
LifeSIGNS is indebted to the people and companies that have transformed the Internet by creating the World Wide Web. So much of our work is web-based, and so many of our members are reliant on the web to give them a voice.
www.onewebday.org/
Back to LifeSIGNS
Saturday, September 23, 2006
LifeSIGNS :: Auto Email
To give you even more information at your fingertips,we offer an auto-email service,so that you can request helpful information immediately.
Read more.
To give you even more information at your fingertips,we offer an auto-email service,so that you can request helpful information immediately. help@lifesigns.org.uk
Remember, this is an automatic email system, no humans are involved!Read more.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Bristol SI Workshop Day
Bristol Crisis Service for Women
No Judgement
A day for young women (aged 16-25) with experience of self-harm
Saturday 7 October, 10.15 am-5.00pm
Southville Centre, Beauley Road, Bristol
Be who you want to be, make the day yours!!
Workshops pic‘n’mix
Limited numbers so contact us to book a place and for more info. O117 9279600 or bcsw@btconnect.com or leave a text message on 07985 364472
singing, relaxation, printing, clowning, jewellery making, mozaic, wishes, reflexology, aromatherapy, creative writing, camouflage, movement, selfhelp, discussion forum
No Judgement
A day for young women (aged 16-25) with experience of self-harm
Saturday 7 October, 10.15 am-5.00pm
Southville Centre, Beauley Road, Bristol
Be who you want to be, make the day yours!!
Workshops pic‘n’mix
Limited numbers so contact us to book a place and for more info. O117 9279600 or bcsw@btconnect.com or leave a text message on 07985 364472
singing, relaxation, printing, clowning, jewellery making, mozaic, wishes, reflexology, aromatherapy, creative writing, camouflage, movement, selfhelp, discussion forum
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Porn and bullying common on MySpace and Bebo, says Which?
This report (click above) mentioned in the Guardian highlights how difficult the new wave of social networking sites are to control.
LifeSIGNS has a MySpace page, at www.myspace.com/mylifesigns and we are learning just how troublesome some people's behaviour can be; sometimes, people are somewhat too 'free' to say and post what they want, without due care and respect for other people. I am very grateful to Dissonant Isotope (as he is known) for managing our MySpace page, and to all our kind and helpful MySpace friends.
The LifeSIGNS Message Board offers a friendly and vibrant peer support community, with plenty of Moderators to ensure our strict safety rules are adhered to - perhaps social network sites are nothing new, perhaps we've been networking for years now, but I know I feel more confident within the LifeSIGNS Message Board than I do in the big big MySpace...
Wedge
Return to the LifeSIGNS Website.
This report (click above) mentioned in the Guardian highlights how difficult the new wave of social networking sites are to control.
LifeSIGNS has a MySpace page, at www.myspace.com/mylifesigns and we are learning just how troublesome some people's behaviour can be; sometimes, people are somewhat too 'free' to say and post what they want, without due care and respect for other people. I am very grateful to Dissonant Isotope (as he is known) for managing our MySpace page, and to all our kind and helpful MySpace friends.
The LifeSIGNS Message Board offers a friendly and vibrant peer support community, with plenty of Moderators to ensure our strict safety rules are adhered to - perhaps social network sites are nothing new, perhaps we've been networking for years now, but I know I feel more confident within the LifeSIGNS Message Board than I do in the big big MySpace...
Wedge
Return to the LifeSIGNS Website.
The Perils of Modern Life?
Every now and then I read an article in the paper or on the internet talking about the ills of society, or the world, or dissecting globalisation and consumerism, and there will practically always be a reference to the rising rates of self-harm and how they have been impacted by these factors. I think it is interesting to look at a broader picture and how society itself impacts on our mental health. It is a well-held belief that chronic invalidation is a common factor in self-harm and in a society where people have moved from being citizens to customers and can easily feel that they just don’t matter, I can hardly feel surprised at the rising rates of self-harm, substance abuse and depression that these articles speak of.
The article in question on this occasion appeared in the Daily Telegraph on Tuesday 12 September, titled Modern Life Leads to More Depression Among Children – a letter signed by 110 people with various involvement in the world of children. They argued that the pressures of modern life, such as rapid technological and cultural change, a fast-moving and hyper-competitive society coupled with a lack of exercise and good food were leading to the mental health of children being compromised. They state that society has lost sight of the emotional and social needs of children.
A follow-up article was then printed in yesterday’s Guardian – Generation Stressed – which argued that the points in the letter could well be applied to all of us, young and old alike. The problems are too complicated to be easily solved with a policy here and a policy there, involving wide ranging areas such as the media, food and education. The market has crept into all corners of our lives, even being able to influence our imaginations and what we aspire to, our dreams being shaped by brands even if we don’t know it. The author pointed out that the rates of self-harm, substance abuse and depression are rising in older generations too.
A couple of pages on there was an article about the increase in the use of anabolic steroids among young men wanted to look more like David Beckham or some other bronzed pumped fit specimen of masculinity. This reminded me of a department I used to work in, a pretty good mix of people of different sexes, ages, and races. In the tea room at break times, the women would all be talking about different diets they were on, how long they’d spent in the gym but weren’t losing any weight, or how hard the battle against the bulge really is. Even I, who swore she would never become one of those women, spent long periods of my lunch break talking with my friend about the calorific value of a Muller Corner Digestive Biscuit yoghurt, both of us in the end giving up eating them on the basis of their fat content. But then I started to notice what the men were all talking about – how frustrating it was that they couldn’t put on enough weight! All of them with their protein shakes instead of tea at breaks, eating as much as they could at lunch, then spending hours in the gym doing sets on the weights with strangers who have the same goals. All trying to bulk up and look more manly.
All of us seem to be under pressure from somewhere, and most of us seem to feel undervalued, whether that is by our colleagues at work, friends or peers, or even society in general. Frankly I feel a bit depressed when I think about the lives of my parents and other adults in their age group, and the things that I will be unable to avoid once I start thinking about buying a property or having children, enslaving myself to a job, probably in a company I never wanted to work for. But perhaps a fundamental change in society is a bit too optimistic to hope for. Back to the small things in life (apparently that’s where God, or at least unbridled happiness, is hiding!).
Every now and then I read an article in the paper or on the internet talking about the ills of society, or the world, or dissecting globalisation and consumerism, and there will practically always be a reference to the rising rates of self-harm and how they have been impacted by these factors. I think it is interesting to look at a broader picture and how society itself impacts on our mental health. It is a well-held belief that chronic invalidation is a common factor in self-harm and in a society where people have moved from being citizens to customers and can easily feel that they just don’t matter, I can hardly feel surprised at the rising rates of self-harm, substance abuse and depression that these articles speak of.
The article in question on this occasion appeared in the Daily Telegraph on Tuesday 12 September, titled Modern Life Leads to More Depression Among Children – a letter signed by 110 people with various involvement in the world of children. They argued that the pressures of modern life, such as rapid technological and cultural change, a fast-moving and hyper-competitive society coupled with a lack of exercise and good food were leading to the mental health of children being compromised. They state that society has lost sight of the emotional and social needs of children.
A follow-up article was then printed in yesterday’s Guardian – Generation Stressed – which argued that the points in the letter could well be applied to all of us, young and old alike. The problems are too complicated to be easily solved with a policy here and a policy there, involving wide ranging areas such as the media, food and education. The market has crept into all corners of our lives, even being able to influence our imaginations and what we aspire to, our dreams being shaped by brands even if we don’t know it. The author pointed out that the rates of self-harm, substance abuse and depression are rising in older generations too.
A couple of pages on there was an article about the increase in the use of anabolic steroids among young men wanted to look more like David Beckham or some other bronzed pumped fit specimen of masculinity. This reminded me of a department I used to work in, a pretty good mix of people of different sexes, ages, and races. In the tea room at break times, the women would all be talking about different diets they were on, how long they’d spent in the gym but weren’t losing any weight, or how hard the battle against the bulge really is. Even I, who swore she would never become one of those women, spent long periods of my lunch break talking with my friend about the calorific value of a Muller Corner Digestive Biscuit yoghurt, both of us in the end giving up eating them on the basis of their fat content. But then I started to notice what the men were all talking about – how frustrating it was that they couldn’t put on enough weight! All of them with their protein shakes instead of tea at breaks, eating as much as they could at lunch, then spending hours in the gym doing sets on the weights with strangers who have the same goals. All trying to bulk up and look more manly.
All of us seem to be under pressure from somewhere, and most of us seem to feel undervalued, whether that is by our colleagues at work, friends or peers, or even society in general. Frankly I feel a bit depressed when I think about the lives of my parents and other adults in their age group, and the things that I will be unable to avoid once I start thinking about buying a property or having children, enslaving myself to a job, probably in a company I never wanted to work for. But perhaps a fundamental change in society is a bit too optimistic to hope for. Back to the small things in life (apparently that’s where God, or at least unbridled happiness, is hiding!).
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Child Abuse and SI - A Blog Carnival
I'm not sure what a carnival is either, but it seems that serious bloggers are holding an annual, virtual carnival, to highlight some sensitive issues.
Scarlett Demon, blogger at 'Carpe Noctem' is hosting this years blog event, and you should check it out now to submit ideas, or check it out from the 17th of September, when it goes live.
I'm not sure what a carnival is either, but it seems that serious bloggers are holding an annual, virtual carnival, to highlight some sensitive issues.
Scarlett Demon, blogger at 'Carpe Noctem' is hosting this years blog event, and you should check it out now to submit ideas, or check it out from the 17th of September, when it goes live.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Going to University….
Reading posts on the message-board from people about to start university has got me thinking back to September 1999 when I first arrived in Hull. Perhaps I am in a way slightly jealous!
When my parents and I arrived at Cleminson Hall we were ushered into a room where we were met by the warden, Dr. Ghazzali, an amazing man with a long beard who smoked a pipe - he promised me that the best room in the building was mine and I even had a sink of my own (after staying with my friend in Lincoln who had an en-suite this wasn’t such a novelty).
After unpacking I seem to remember tea and cakes with the parents and other students – how sophisticated! I was just eager for my parents to leave so I could do what I wanted. I remember finally saying goodbye and then wondering what I was supposed to do next, so of course I had a fag (these were my pre-Allen Carr days!)
Later in the day I was introduced to the washing machine by my new “friend” Charlotte:
Charlotte: This is a washing machine Mary.
Me: Yes, I am aware of what a washing machine looks like.
This friendship was short-lived and by the next day I had found new friends! My acquaintance with the washing machine was also short-lived. I said I knew what a washing machine looked like, not how to use one!
Stage 1 – Wear all clothes
Stage 2 – Go into Hull and buy a load of new underwear. Wear new underwear with dirty clothes on top.
Stage 3 – Take essential clothes on 400 miles round trip on the train to Essex for my mum to wash.
Stage 4 – Take the plunge and buy fabric softener, thinking that it’s very good value washing liquid.
Stage 5 – Spend 6 months washing clothes using only fabric softener. Clothes are not clean, but they smell nice!
The year is a blur of memories – many good, many not so good.
Ants in the food, the evil managers, the drying tokens, the dinnerladies/cleaners, the phone situation, the bidet, queueing for the bus in the freezing cold, the Greek students, watching Home & Away, clubbing, my friend Pete and I riding our mattresses down the stairs, watching films in Big jon's room, Karaoke, the dinner queue, Kizmet takeaways...but the highlights were undoubtedly the many happy hours spent in the Railway pub where I first spoke to Al – after 4 months of ignoring him down my corridor!
My advice to new students (from personal experience):
* Enjoy the first year as it goes so quickly.
* Learn how to use a washing machine before you go.
* Don’t take things so seriously. The boyfriend/girlfriend you find in the first week is not likely to be the love of your life.
* Try not to eat too unhealthily – this is difficult if you are living in catered halls.
* Try and think about your future now (easy to say in hindsight), but when it comes to writing your CV and your only hobby for the past 3 years has been drinking, then it can be a problem!
* Stay safe and have fun! 
I never got a chance to thank Dr. Ghazzali for looking after me in the first year, and I will be eternally grateful for that. Rest in peace Ghazz.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Edinburgh
I had a really productive day in Edinburgh on Friday (was better than a day at work anyway!). I attended the Scottish Self-Harm Forum meeting (which I was invited to by a LifeSIGNS member). It is a forum set up in association with Penumbra (a leading Scottish mental health charity). Although not many people turned up (a lot of apologies) it was great to network with the people who were there. A lady who works for the Samaritans was particularly interested to find out about us. The Chairman Pat(rick) Little was really nice. I had a chance to talk a bit about LifeSIGNS, and gave them all leaflets! There is some fantastic work going on in Scotland - awareness about self-injury (and suicide) seems to be much higher on the agenda over there.
The National Inquiry Scottish Conference is on 6th October. I'm really annoyed that the person in charge didn't let me know when it was, as she said she would. Anyway, I will book my place tomorrow - it will be very different from the one Sarah attended in London, as it's the Scottish perspective. So I can see benefits of me attending, and it'll be a great chance to network.
I met with Sandra deMunoz who works for Choose Life (suicide prevention strategy), just for a chat really to share ideas. She gave me some cute "See Me" keyrings and pens :o) She suggested we get in conatct with Susan Ramsey from "See Me" to learn more about media awareness.
Since I had time to kill I ended up in the Edinburgh Dungeon...I had no idea it was a guided tour (thought you;d just be able to wander around), so stupid me ends up on this guided tour where everyone's in groups, and there's me on my own! But a couple befriended me, and it was such a laugh, with this mad Scotsman who kept saying "I'm gonnae slap-yer" (it was part of the tour). I guess you had to be there!!!
I had a really productive day in Edinburgh on Friday (was better than a day at work anyway!). I attended the Scottish Self-Harm Forum meeting (which I was invited to by a LifeSIGNS member). It is a forum set up in association with Penumbra (a leading Scottish mental health charity). Although not many people turned up (a lot of apologies) it was great to network with the people who were there. A lady who works for the Samaritans was particularly interested to find out about us. The Chairman Pat(rick) Little was really nice. I had a chance to talk a bit about LifeSIGNS, and gave them all leaflets! There is some fantastic work going on in Scotland - awareness about self-injury (and suicide) seems to be much higher on the agenda over there.
The National Inquiry Scottish Conference is on 6th October. I'm really annoyed that the person in charge didn't let me know when it was, as she said she would. Anyway, I will book my place tomorrow - it will be very different from the one Sarah attended in London, as it's the Scottish perspective. So I can see benefits of me attending, and it'll be a great chance to network.
I met with Sandra deMunoz who works for Choose Life (suicide prevention strategy), just for a chat really to share ideas. She gave me some cute "See Me" keyrings and pens :o) She suggested we get in conatct with Susan Ramsey from "See Me" to learn more about media awareness.
Since I had time to kill I ended up in the Edinburgh Dungeon...I had no idea it was a guided tour (thought you;d just be able to wander around), so stupid me ends up on this guided tour where everyone's in groups, and there's me on my own! But a couple befriended me, and it was such a laugh, with this mad Scotsman who kept saying "I'm gonnae slap-yer" (it was part of the tour). I guess you had to be there!!!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Males as likely to SI as females - new research
I'm pleased to bring you research that will be published on Monday, (yes, I was able to get my hands on it early) that shows that we should not assume that females are more likely to self-injure, as stated by numerous tradional reports.
Trigger Warning - Scientific language and Emotive SI language
Results
"No gender differences were observed among skin-cutters, most of whom reported experiences of trauma. BPD was recorded for a minority of those skin-cutters without a history of trauma. PBI scores discriminated between non-BPD skin cutters and non-BPD comparison participants without a history of trauma."
Conclusions
"Although these results provide further confirmation of a potential association between prior trauma and repetitive skin-cutting, they rigorously challenge the validity of reported gender differences for this behaviour. Further, this study has
identified that repetitive skin-cutting can arise independently of BPD and prior trauma.
Clinical implications of these results and suggested directions for future research are discussed."
LifeSIGNS has always thought that the reporting of SI in males and females has been biased; we recognise that perhaps men and boys talk about thier behaviour and their emotions in a different way to women.
LifeSIGNS is producing a 'Male SI' factsheet as we speak!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Media Buzz
‘Love it!’ Magazine
I’ve just responded to a journalist who is writing an SI feature for ‘Love it!’ magazine that will probably be published next week.
I answered her questions in good deal of details, but of course I don’t know how much of the email interview they will choose to use, but it will be great to see the LifeSIGNS web address published in a popular women’s mag I guess.
They also hope to interview a teenage girl about her experiences of SI, and so I’m hoping one of our members will respond via the Message Board (email me for more details! Wedge@lifesigns.org.uk )
The Economist Magazine
Phew, I’ve also responded to a journalist for the Economist Magazine today; the media are really going crazy over the latest book that has been published after a Bath / Oxford / Samaritans investigation found that “1 in 10 school-girls have self-injured”. Of course, most journalists have failed to note that the “1 in 10” statistic includes school-girls who have hurt themselves deliberately only once.
Here at LifeSIGNS, we’re very aware that some people hurt themselves frequently, and in fact, rely on SI as a way of coping.
The thing is, these statistics that get thrown about are all very interesting, and important in many ways, but they don’t address the emotional distress of an individual. Stats help the Government and the NHS take SI seriously, but we already know that SI is a serious matter don’t we?
Did you hear Sarah on BBC Radio Essex the other day? She did grand!
I’ve just responded to a journalist who is writing an SI feature for ‘Love it!’ magazine that will probably be published next week.
I answered her questions in good deal of details, but of course I don’t know how much of the email interview they will choose to use, but it will be great to see the LifeSIGNS web address published in a popular women’s mag I guess.
They also hope to interview a teenage girl about her experiences of SI, and so I’m hoping one of our members will respond via the Message Board (email me for more details! Wedge@lifesigns.org.uk )
The Economist Magazine
Phew, I’ve also responded to a journalist for the Economist Magazine today; the media are really going crazy over the latest book that has been published after a Bath / Oxford / Samaritans investigation found that “1 in 10 school-girls have self-injured”. Of course, most journalists have failed to note that the “1 in 10” statistic includes school-girls who have hurt themselves deliberately only once.
Here at LifeSIGNS, we’re very aware that some people hurt themselves frequently, and in fact, rely on SI as a way of coping.
The thing is, these statistics that get thrown about are all very interesting, and important in many ways, but they don’t address the emotional distress of an individual. Stats help the Government and the NHS take SI seriously, but we already know that SI is a serious matter don’t we?
Did you hear Sarah on BBC Radio Essex the other day? She did grand!
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